Pickle

Today Rob and I went to the gym in our complex.Sure its tiny and all but it is something to start with.I hadn’t been to any form of A GYM for years and it really showed.I nearly killed myself trying to “feel the burn” so i could feel less guilty about going to lunch our at Parana Bread.It did feel good though which it never has before.Maybe it was just because Ron was there with me.

Hopefully we can stick with it and I’ll lose some weight.It would be great if i lost at least 30lbs by next April.I know thats not THAT much for a year but i’d like to start small and work my way up.I hate to set some big number and then never hit it and feel bad and quit trying completely.

DAY 4 Because i’m late already

I totally missed Day 4 because i was that busy.I got some walking in and didn’t binge on anything which was great.We went out for dinner,and i couldn’t actually finish what i ordered which is rare for me.I guess my stomach is starting to shrink down,a good thing.On other hand it was mostly fried,which to be fair i rarely eat anymore.I just had to have clam strips people I’m sorry.Otherwise took in far less than normal.Okay i did have a few gummy worms…but they are like fat free so its okay.And i only had 3 so that’s totally less than a normal serving.

No Binge Day 3

Its Day 3 here and what a day its been.I think i was lucky it was Guild Wars 2 Beta weekend for those who prepurchased the game.I haven’t binged and my mind was so busy with the thrill of the game i didn’t get the urges.Go me!It continues until tomorrow at midnight and I’m guessing I’ll still be busy on it then too.I just took some free time away from the game to get a walk in and type this up.

Next week my partner and I plan to start using the small gym in our apartment complex.It makes me very nervous(but what doesn’t) but hopefully i can push myself through all of that.We going to try to make that a regular event so we can be more healthy.

Binge Eating No More Day 2

So its day two now…yesterday went well.I didn’t binge at all.I find if i can keep busy I will crave less and its easier to can ignore the urge to to binge.

I keep trying to identity what ever trigger my need to binge.Looking over my childhood I’ve linked several key things together.One food was a reward.It seemed to be the only thing i was given as a reward really,primarily by my Granny.She also used food to comfort me.Since i was considered less by my mother and stepfather,i was often over looked and left with little.Having been taught to use food as both reward and comfort no doubt lead to my binging habits.

I don’t blame my Granny for the condition,she was only doing what she thought best and within her means.She didn’t really know any better,she only saw me suffering from being bullied at school,by my older bother,my stepfather,and the often complete unconcern by my mother.

So having identified a few clear starting points i think I can work on over come those and stop using the food as reward and comfort.

Binge Eating No More Day 1

Binge eating is something I’ve struggled with since childhood.Sadly its gotten far more out of control lately than it once was.So now I’m going to try very hard to stop binge eat for at least 50 days and see if i can make it.If i can do that then i believe i will be able to stop it completely and work towards weight lose goals.

So here we go with Day one.So far doing great.Fighting the urge though.I guess its like drugs,and you know how hard they are to stop once you start.Never mind a lifetime addiction.

I

Some people really piss me off.I hate being told I can not even try something that does not go by the META only.Its fucking stupid and makes no sense.Period.